Maintenance Phase

I titled this post "Maintenance Phase", which doesn't have anything to do with the podcast (although I am a fan.) It's become clear that this the life phase I am currently in. Keeping things moving - getting kids to school, getting myself to work, keeping the house clean and staying on top of chores - is the focus of my days. The weather is not helping, with freezing temperatures and windy days keeping us inside. We've had a few glimpses of Spring, but we're not quite there yet.

It's been awhile, so here are some photos from the past few months. You can still see leaves on the trees in many of these, which is a time I have already forgotten existed.

In a glorious moment of serendipity, I was able to see one of my all-time-favorite pieces of classical music, Bach's Brandenburg Concerto (no. 2), performed live. This venue isn't too far from me and I hope to see more performances there. But - this one started at 8:00. AT NIGHT. I'm basically the social media meme of a 40-something who can no longer leave their house after dark. I was out way past my bedtime so I guess I can only go to matinees from now on.

It was the snowiest winter in several years. I've heard the phrase "stick season", mostly used in New England, to describe the time before it snows when the world is brown. Well, in the mid-Atlantic that's just winter. It's dark, grey, and brown and depressing. Snow is always welcome, brightening up the landscape. Because of all the snow days, instead of school ending on a Friday this year, it now ends with a half day on Monday. I mean, come on. No one is going to go to that and it messes up all the camp schedules!

Flower season has now started with hundreds of seedlings being sewn and tended to. It's not long now before I start preparing the garden and planting out. My flower subscription sales have been much lower than normal this year, something I'm hearing from other flower sellers as well. Everything is expensive these days and I understand that fun purchases, like flowers, are the first to go. I also decided to take a 6-week break in the middle of the summer so that's also going to impact sales. Luckily I am not financially dependent on this business at all, but I know other growers are, so please support your local flower farm, even if it's just one bouquet during the season! (Buying locally is now more important than ever, no matter your location.)

I have been struggling with my "why" regarding this blog for awhile. Posting takes time and effort, and I'm already a regular journaler so I don't necessarily need to record my life in this way. If you are a blogger, I'd love to hear what keeps you going. Although I have had significant breaks, I have been blogging for twenty-one years. But, the state of the world is not great right now, and I like the idea of documenting the beauty that still exists.

In other news, the Women's Prize for Fiction longlist dropped this week! I've already read three books on the list (The Safekeep, All Fours, and The Ministry of Time), and plan to read the full longlist eventually. I started this week with Broken Seeds, the only book I don't have to wait in a lengthy hold line for. I look forward to discussing these with those of you who are also reading along this year.

Favorite Books of 2024

In 2024 I focused on reading what I enjoyed, rather than a number. I wanted to get to some longer books without being fixated on my stats. Although I read 24 less books than in 2023, this was a high-quality reading year. Here are some of my favorites.

Favorite Books of 2024

Of the 91 books I read in 2024, seven stood out to me. I am a rare 5-star giver, which I reserve for the cream of the crop. If I really enjoyed a book and thought it was well written, it generally gets a 4. Five-star reads are those books that I thought about while I wasn't reading, anxious to get back to them. I know I will remember details from these books for years.

God of the Woods by Liz Moore: I think most of the internet loved this book, a literary mystery about a girl who goes missing from a summer camp. The story had me hooked and I kept looking forward to picking this one up. I also really liked how the chapters were labeled with the narrator and year; because of the dual timelines and multiple perspectives, this could have easily been confusing.

Soldier Sailor by Claire Kilroy: This is the most accurate portrayal of motherhood to a young child that I have ever read. The husband drove me nuts (which I think was the point). If you are a parent, read this to feel seen, and if you don't have kids, read this to know what parents are going through. Really, nothing has captured the conflict between the exhaustion of parenting, loss of self, and love for a child better. (from this post)

North Woods by Daniel Mason: A novel told in interconnecting stories, this is a book not about people, but the land. Mason follows one parcel of land in Western Massachusetts over hundreds of years, describing the evolution of a house and the people who occupy it. Most of the stories are completely captivating and original, but my favorite thing about this book is how Mason respects the reader's intelligence. He doesn't explain everything outright, but trusts that if you read closely, you pick up on the full story. (from my earlier post) I really hoped that this would win the Pulitzer for fiction this year, but I was wrong. Ack! [I did read this year's winner, Night Watch, and meh.]

Olive Kitteridge by Elizabeth Strout: Everyone loves Olive and now I understand why. Told in interconnecting stories, this book is about a small town and its inhabitants, with Olive playing a role in most of the townspeople's lives. Grumpy and sometimes downright mean, she has a good heart hardened by a difficult past. She is one of the most real characters I've ever read. I'm looking forward to reading more by Strout. (from my earlier post) 

A Ghost in the Throat by Dorieann Ní Ghríofa: For some reason I thought this book was fiction when I picked it up, but it's actually a memoir. Combining the author's experience of motherhood with the life of an 18th-century female poet, this book has a hauntingly beautiful quality. Ní Ghríofa is a poet and this fact shines through in her writing. One reason why I personally enjoyed this so much is because I studied abroad in Ireland at University College Cork, which is the same university that the author attended. We are exactly the same age so I can only assume we were there at the same time - the mentions of places in Cork that I remember drew me back to this time. (from my earlier post)

The Heart's Invisible Furies by John Boyne: This book is the story of Cyril, born in Ireland right after World War II. It spans his entire lifetime, from being giving up for adoption by his teen mother, until the end of his life. Cyril is gay and grows up with immense shame, tamping down feelings of love for his best friend. The book spans countries and time periods, handling the AIDS epidemic in the 1980s and other tough subjects. But also: this book is funny. 

Great Circle by Maggie Shipstead: Another long book, following the entire life of Marian Graves, a female pilot in the early 20th century. It was the perfect combination of plot, forward movement, character development, and excellent writing. (It was shortlisted for both the Booker and the Women's Prize, quite a feat.)

2025 Reading Plans

Over the years I've learned that I generally do not have great reading experiences when I pick up a book just because it's popular, or because it "looked good" on the new shelf at the library. In 2024 I focused on reading books that had been recommended to me or had stood the test of time. I have never been able to stick to prescribed monthly or otherwise time-bound TBRs, so for 2025 I'm focusing on several lists of books.

• My Storygraph TBR (54 books currently): I am very picky about what I add to my TBR these days. It has to have been recommended by a trusted source (generally by more than one), have relatively good reviews, and be in a genre I know I like. (No romantasy or thrillers for now!)
• My owned TBR (58 books currently): The library sells paperbacks for 50 cents which is my  weakness. I prefer to read actual library books because the due date gives me motivation, so buying a book is a sure-fire way to ensure that it will take me forever to get to it. I have owned some unread books for over 15 years. I need to whittle this down!
• Pulitzer Prize for Fiction and Women's Prize Winners (17/98 and 6/29 respectively): I will continue to work my way through these lists.
• Completing the works of Barbara Kingsolver, Maggie O'Farrell, Claire Fuller, and Peter Heller: Apparently I like authors with double ls in their names. 
• Reading from series I have started: Every once in awhile I like to check in with old friends. I am currently in the middle of reading Louise Penny's Three Pines (skipping to the later books because of her choppy writing style); Robert Dugoni's Tracy Crosswhite; and Elly Griffith's Ruth Galloway. Other series I have started and may pick up are Ragnar Jonasson's Dark Iceland, Jussi Alder-Olsen's Department Q, and all of Ann Cleeves' series.

This is well over the number of books I can read in a year, and I am viewing it like Oliver Burkeman suggests: a river, not a bucket. I am not up on what new releases come out next year, but I will definitely be picking up any books by authors I have previously read and loved.

Squam Art Workshop: Fall 2024

I have wanted to attend the Squam Art Workshop for over a decade. With the kids a little older I finally took the plunge and signed up for the fall session last November. I won't lie, it's not cheap. You only live once though, right? With rental car prices in the "insane" category, I decided to drive from Maryland to New Hampshire rather than flying. Driving 11 hours is something that sounds fine in the abstract, but actually doing it is another story.

The first day I drove to Manchester, New Hampshire (ten hours) and spent the night so I could get up in the morning and tour two Frank Lloyd Wright houses before making the final hour-long drive to camp. (Huge thanks to Katie who tipped me off on these home tours!) You meet at the museum and are taken a short way down the street in a bus to visit both houses, which are on the same street in a residential neighborhood. If I lived on that street I would be so annoyed at the people traipsing down the street every day, but on the other hand, how cool would it be to live across the street from a Frank Lloyd Wright?

The Kalil House was very concrete-y and not very cozy. It was designed to be self-built, with standard size concrete blocks. Even the ceiling is made out of these blocks. It was interesting architecturally but I certainly wouldn't want to live there.

The Zimmerman House was more like what we normally associate with FLW, warm woods, low ceilings, and connection with the outdoors. The Zimmermans knew they wanted to preserve their house for the future, leaving all of the original furniture and their belonging in the home. Their clothes were still hanging in the closets! Either fascinating or creepy, depending on how you look at it. I thought this house was beautiful and could even see some similarities with our own house, which is probably why I was drawn to it when we bought it.

I ate my lunch near the river in Manchester, then drove an hour farther north to Rockywold-Deephaven Camps. This place is the embodiment of your nostalgic summer camp dreams. The cabins are uninsulated, which was fine when I was there in early September, but I can imagine them being super hot in high summer. The bedding was warm and I felt cozy during the night when the temperatures dropped. My room led out onto the screened porch, and I kept the doors open most of the time.

I think all of the cabins have their own docks. Walking down a short path to the lake and sitting on the dock was the highlight of this experience. A glance in either direction showed people chatting, knitting, and swimming. 

One really cool thing that the camp does is cut lake ice during the winter and store it in a legit ice house. All of the cabins have old iceboxes, and the staff replaces the ice every day. I was there at the end of the season and the ice house was almost empty. It's crazy to think that this old technology still works to keep ice for months and months all summer.

The first day I was there was only a half day, but I did go to a relaxing yoga class, followed by dinner. All of the meals were at set times in the dining hall with a buffet-style meal. The food was pretty good for being mass produced, but it was as loud as you can imagine. A few times I skipped meals or got my food to go because honestly it was a little too overstimulating with 200+ people in one room chatting away.

The next day was my first class, block printing on fabric. This class was so fun - we started with designing our pattern, carving our blocks, and then finally printing the design. Almost everyone was new to this technique, and yet everyone managed to produced beautiful, unique patterns. My design is the one you see at the front right of the photo below.

The line of printed towels drying overnight was a huge draw for everyone walking by. Some people even printed on their clothes!

The next day I had signed up for a paper cutting class, however by this time it had become clear that my Dad was not going to have many more days left. I had my phone by my side waiting for updates from my family. Emotionally I just couldn't handle being around a group of strangers all day, so instead I went for a hike up Rattlesnake Mountain. The view of the lake at the top was definitely worth it, but the particular trail I took was literally straight up. 

The next day was Saturday, a free day. In the morning I went to a Botanical Sketching thing, which I thought would be a class, but it was just some vignettes set up on tables that we were on our own to draw how we liked. I did a quick sketch and then headed out on my main event for the day, the Five Fingers Point trail. This trail skirted the edge of the lake along a point. The weather was great for hiking, and I spent some time just sitting at different points gazing at the beautiful surroundings.

When I got back, I decided to be brave and took a dip in the lake. It was frigid and probably took me 20 minutes to work up to fully submerging myself. There were some women who seemed to have more experience with cold-water swimming and were swimming longer distances, but it was all I could do to just bob around for a few minutes. The water must have had an effect because I wasn't sore from 2 consecutive days of hiking!

On Sunday morning it was time to return home. I originally planned to take a day to stop in Rhode Island on my way home, but I wanted to get home to hopefully see my Dad one last time. That 12 hour drive was brutal! My body was not happy being in the same position for an entire day. 

So, would I do it again? I'm not sure. The setting was absolutely beautiful, and I enjoyed being in such a peaceful place with no responsibilities for a few days. The class I took was really fun and inspirational. But, as you have figured out by now, I am an introvert, and being around so many new people for every meal and constant events was exhausting. I must have had the "Hi, I'm Sarah, where are you from?" conversation 40 times. I think I can cobble together a similar experience by booking my own cabins and art classes for less money. Still, I'm glad I went! I may have had a different experience if I had less going on in my personal life, and if I had a different group of cabin mates (I had one cabin mate who was very nice but who I only saw about twice.) Everyone there was super friendly and sweet, and the environment was so positive. I met a few women who were incredibly supportive when they heard about my Dad, and I am forever thankful to them. In all I totally recommend this workshop to anyone who is artsy/crafty and willing to meet new people (and can afford it!)

So, where should I go next?

My Dad

My Dad died on September 10, 2024 at the age of 77. Fourteen years ago he was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease, likely from exposure to Agent Orange during the Vietnam War. A few years ago he was also diagnosed with dementia. Anyone who has known someone affected by these diseases knows the slow slide away from reality and the terrible disconnect between brain and body that completely changes the person. My Mom was his full-time caregiver for the past several years, a taxing role that consumed her life. It was not the retirement they both hoped for. 

We knew that he didn't have much time left, but it's always a surprise when the end really comes. Saying that it's a huge life adjustment for my Mom, and the rest of us, going from a family unit of 5 to 4, is an understatement.

That's me sitting on my Dad's lap! Can you tell it was the 80s?

My Dad had seven siblings, can you imagine? (Eight kids! Catholics, amirite?) He was always good with babies, raising me and my brother and sister, but also from growing up with abundant babies in the house. My grandparents owned a milk products business, making butter and cheese. This is how I learned that white cheddar and yellow cheddar are actually the same thing: yellow cheddar just has coloring in it. The building still exists and is run by the family as a deli; check out The Cheese Shop if you're ever in Ottawa, Illinois. (And if you are ever there and are not related to me... why?)

Dad and baby Cora

My Dad graduated from the Culinary Institute of America (the other CIA) in a time when buffet art was a thing. Picture animals made out of meat, cheese and fruit fanned out in intricate patterns. Later, knowing he was likely to be drafted, he joined the Army and was sent to Vietnam. After a period of time clearing the jungle, some higher-ups got wind that they had a verified CIA graduate on their hands, and a helicopter landed one day, whisking him away to a much better job as a chef.

Dad and Mary

For the majority of his career, he worked as an Executive Chef at large hotels. I remember Easters and Thanksgivings when I was a kid spent in hotel dining rooms; my Mom would bring us all there when he was working on big holidays. When people hear about his culinary training and career, they always make a comment like, "Wow, you must have eaten well at home!" Well, no; my Mom cooked us most meals. I completely get not wanting to come home and continue to do your job! Sometimes he would make pizza dough or big batches of pasta sauce, but we certainly never got an artistic buffet spread.

Dad and baby Mary

After he retired, he finally had time to put his creativity into action, and took oil painting classes. He probably would have continued to paint had Parkinson's not taken away his hand-eye coordination. I'm so glad that I was the lucky recipient of his artistic gene. My Dad and I went to see the National Symphony Orchestra, and Sarah Brightman singing opera, when the rest of my family deemed classical music too boring (i.e., not a sport). He was a fan of Edith Piaf and history, when he could find time to read.

Dad and his mom, my grandma who died only 5 years ago at the age of 100

I grew up with both my Dad and Mom working in the yard. On the weekends he was often outside mowing the grass or planting flowers, trees, and shrubbery. (I just wanted to say "shrubbery.") He was always interested in my flower growing. One of the last times he visited our house and was able to confidently walk, I showed him around all my gardens, and he recognized most of the flower varieties.

I was there with my Mom when he died, and wow, let me tell you about something that can give you perspective. So here's a reminder that life doesn't always turn out the way we want. Take advantage of your abilities while you have them: make the art, hike the trail, visit that place you've always wanted to see but never could make the plans. And if you have a good relationship with your parents, give them a call. 

Checking In: Summer 2024

If you have young children, and it's summer, you know why I have been MIA for 2 months! This summer has been a blur of camp drop offs, pick ups, water days, wet towels, overnights, car rides, packing and unpacking, all while trying to retain our full-time jobs and not melt into a puddle of goo with 100+ degree temperatures and 90% humidity.

As usual, I have been seeking water. From creeks to lakes, if there is water, I want to be near it. (I'm not the biggest ocean fan, though, I prefer fresh water.) There is one more week until school starts, which we will be spending (surprise!) on a lake.

And if it's not water, it's flowers. You could say that this has been my most successful flower season ever in that I have sold nearly every stem coming out of my gardens. I have gone from five subscriptions in my first year to over 30, now in year three. I don't have a lot of space so this is pretty much the maximum I can handle, and it has been stressful at times to eek out the right number of bouquets each week. I have a lot of thinking to do this winter about what changes I want to make so that I don't get burnt out or resentful of my little side job.

I also finished a pair of socks; no pattern as usual, after knitting probably 50 pairs I have the process memorized and just make it up as I go along. This is 3x1 rib and the yarn is from Into the Whirled, which I got at Maryland Sheep and Wool a few years ago.

And that's my check in for now! In no time at all we'll be back to cooler temperatures, waiting for the school bus, and cleaning up our gardens for the winter.